The Neon Clubhouse tapes feature a wide variety of female voices discussing their lives in the 1980s.
Susan Beth Handler
As Michael J. Fox’s number one fan, Susan Beth Handler is super into science and hopes to one day be a doctor lawyer or lawyer doctor. She also loves reading and is making her way through an old set of encyclopedias from the 1950s. She’s hinted around for a new set, but her parents aren’t getting it. For her most recent birthday, her mom got her a typewriter so that she can learn secretarial skills, and her dad got her a tape recorder, which she’s enjoying using with her friends Ginny and Mary Jo. These aren’t bad gifts, but she’s still waiting for an updated encyclopedia set and hopes it will come with some periodicals on microfiche. Some classmates might call Susan an overachieving nerd, but she isn’t bothered by it. She has a path for her future, which is to become a smart, enterprising woman with a top-notch VHS tape collection.
Virginia Danielle Walker
Virginia "Danielle" Walker is probably named after the cigarette brand and definitely shares a middle name with her older sister ("whoops, did we really already use Danielle?" -- that's what happens when your family never seems to stop growing). However, hope springs eternal since her mom agreed to let Virginia choose and legally change her middle name "when the time comes." Something that's still "the only cool thing" either of her parents has ever done. Virginia is nothing if not aspirational and full of optimism. But, she's also constantly on the hunt to nail down a perfected image: nickname changes, hair style experiments, self-fringed dresses one day, preppy the next, which clubs should she *really* join, they all look fun as long as there's attention involved. She'd love to meet you, especially if you have a cute older brother.
Mary Joseph Owen
Mary Joseph Owen is a lover of guinea pigs, an avid basketball fan, and an all-around late bloomer. Hailing from the house next door to Susan, Mary Jo spends most of her time in homeschool, staring out of her bedroom window, or bouncing on a pogo stick. Her claim to fame is that she was named after not one, but two, characters from the Bible.
(Almost) Dr. Olivia Brownstone
(Almost) Dr. Olivia Brownstone is just three credits and one thesis defense shy of a PhD in Anthropology. In her spare time, she enjoys watching sitcoms from the 80's and 90's and commenting on their problematic nature. Her great loves include her extensive backyard cannabis garden, her two cats Michelle Obama and Dana Scully, and her mom Lt. Susan Beth Handler (who is her "rock"....despite the fact that she signed on for her third post on the International Space Station just after the 2016 Presidential election to "get as far away from this shit as possible"...a time when Olivia could have really found comfort in having her mom around....whatevs, it's fine). She also loves mango la Croix.
Show Guests
Pickles
Pickles, the miniature Schnauzer, loves his toys and bones. He knows lots of gossip about the neighborhood and has pretty strong opinions on music, especially his love of Bruce Springsteen. He aspires to be a world famous soccer player.
Jessie Mercedes Lane
While she is slightly embarrassed of her middle name, Jessie Mercedes Lane thinks that being named after a car will one day benefit her greatly. She really loves vehicles and movies with vehicles as critical roles and hopes to take a cross country trip switching cars in every state to end up in Washington state in an RV.
Audrey Costello
Audrey Costello is wicked smart but doesn't always show it, you know, for the guys. She's won the science fair for the past three years in a row but has never claimed her prize because she was always too busy smoking cigs and kissing Nicky Helmers behind the school. Audrey loves grape bubble gum, yellow bikini bottoms, and showing her gals the best way to tongue kiss by using a halved cantaloupe - it seriously works. Audrey keeps a bat by her bed like her older brother Randy showed her to do, in case any robber breaks in the house since her dad is in trouble and owes a lot of people money.
Karen Bates
Karen Bates is originally from Modesto, California but she’s more of an east coast artist type at heart. She’s proud to perform in show choir and hopes to run for club treasurer in the upcoming school year. She enjoys strong female role models like her mom, a very successful Mary Kay representative and Jazzercise franchise owner. When she’s not busy exercising or performing with the show choir, Karen enjoys eating Little Debbie snacks in one large swallow. Swiss Rolls are her favorite, but Cosmic Brownies will do in a pinch. Please don’t ask her about her right ear.
Martina Cardenali
Intelligent and mature for her age, Martina is a budding artist. Some might say she is an "old soul," but her friends just marvel at her creativity and intelligence. She might never have children after being scarred by the Miracle of Life film, but she will most likely smoke clove cigarettes well into her 40s.
Skylar
All of the most amazing performers go by one name, and Skylar is no exception. Well on her way to being a triple threat, this beauty is fearless in her ambition and flawless in food-related commercials. She's versatile, and her mom supports her on her journey to become the next "mover and shaker."
Lisa Michaels O'Donegal
Emerging feminist, Lisa Michaels O'Donegal really wants to make the world a better place. Inspired by her mother, an appellate court judge, Lisa believes girls should fight for whatever they want to be, and that the trick to doing that is supporting each other. Let's be friends forever.
Patricia Harte
Patricia Harte is a poet and aspiring energy healer. She's currently finding inspiration in the works of Audre Lorde, Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, and Patti Smith. When she is not busy organizing anti-apartheid protests at school, Patricia enjoys drinking black coffee and listening to the plants in her garden. With the exception of her grandfather and maybe David Bowie, Patricia much prefers the company and wisdom of women. Be on the look out for her newest collection of poetry, The Body Knows What the Mind is Scared to See, coming soon to a library parking lot near you.
Tiffani Topps
Always interested in meeting new people, Tiffani Topps is your next very best friend. She comes to every sleepover immensely prepared and is not opposed to spilling a little blood to solidify a pact.
Jennifer Gray
Jennifer Gray is best known for having brought ribbon dancing to the state of Alabama. Through her innovation and need to fill a requirement for her Gifted and Talented program, athletics has expanded to be more beautiful, dramatic, and symbolic than ever before. She can also be counted on to provide great insight into literature and film.
Dot Buchanan
Renaissance teen Dot Buchanan refuses to let people judge or define her. She's a badass mechanic and cello player who cares about her family. While she currently has no plans to finish high school, she knows the world has much more to teach her that will help be the powerhouse woman she is meant to be.
Marjorie Crocker
Living in a large house just means there's more space for Marjorie Crocker to hide and read her romantic history novels. Virginia Walker's mentoring of her has brought her out of her shell some, but she still prefers a good book to a raging party and really enjoys the company of deers.
Amy Flanning
Amy Flanning has found her calling in bowl-making. Her creativity is growing as she crafts receptacles of all shapes and sizes and plans on giving them as gifts to her family and friends. The bowls she gives aren't empty because they are always filled with love.
Whitney Weidemeyer
Bios are for people who care about stuff. If Whitney Weidemeyer cared, she would say she loves being able to do whatever she wants whenever she wants and encourages everyone to follow their own paths. That way you won't ever get lost.
Marcie Mayfield
A mysterious new student from California, Marcie Mayfield knows interesting people and has interesting plans for her future. She's into making music and maybe even getting a little weird with it. She's on the cusp of big change but will never not love water sports.
Heather Magyar
Heather Magyar is aspiring to be the first woman from Alabama to compete in the Summer Olympics for swimming. She's got a good shot, too, with a really outstanding coach, and she may experiment with more than the water when she makes it to the international sports stage.
Laura-Allen Weinberg
Daughter of a clinical psychologist, Laura-Allen Weinberg is electric, enjoys doodling powerlines, and really wants people to come visit her house. She can be of great service to anyone wanting to sort their bodily fluids and may one day win a great deal of money at poker because her face is a stone.
Natty Versmith
Natty Versmith is foreign exchange student who is not at all suspicious in anyway. Where is she from? Well, that is easy to answer, a small pelting community called Toronto in the country where she is from called Canada. When many bullies at school doubt she is from where she says, she violently snuffs out their doubts with specific details of things that only someone from Canada would know, mostly stuff about beavers. Now that we have established that she is definitely from Canada, how can she get close to Ronald Reagan for teenage crush not assignation reasons?
Deborah Wallace
An accomplished trumpet player, Deborah Wallace enjoys gardening and going to the library. She also loves everyone. Very much.
Samantha "Hex" Bellman
Hex has shed the name forced upon her to slip beyond the veil. Her poems, plays, and short stories reveal the hidden and reflect the truth. Hiss.
Cindie Smith
Cindie Smith enjoys popcorn and pageants and hopes one day to be the winner instead of just a runner up. On her journey to become First Lady, she also creates nail art as a generous act for the masses.
Thomasita Jenkins
Respected jacket collector and poet setting rhymes to beats (heretofore known as "rapping"), Thomasita Jenkins is heir to the family business because her little brother is a fart. She also is a fan of Romeo and Juliet, but please don't let her father know that.
Maddie Nix
As founder of the "Save the Lobsters," "Hut No More," and "Put the Spray Away," campaigns, Maddie Nix is changing the world one club at a time. This emerging activist challenges all young people to make a difference today because the children are our future and the future is now.
Catherine Howard
Catherine Howard loves politics, pink, and people. She hopes to combine all her loves into civic leadership that sets an example. You don't have to be a bully to accomplish your goals and that you can make things happen with pizzazz. Vote Catherine for now and for the future!
Fisher
Anne Louise Fisher - who prefers to go by "Fisher" - is a tomboy, Southern-dirt-lovin gal who likes dirt-track racecars, fishing (like her name), building stuff out of mudd, and experimenting with chewing tobacco. It tastes awful and so sometimes she puts gum behind her lip to pretend.
Kennedy Fay
Avid collector of Pound Puppies, Kennedy Fay enjoys all magazines, from Highlights to Cosmopolitan. She enjoys displaying her collection in artful ways that makes the puppies "angels" and has a mysterious family history.
X
To protect her identity, X has no bio.
Tammy Pickler
Tammy Pickler is a fashion creator and trendsetter. Her patchwork denim is legendary in the South as are her fashion-forward cage bangs.